Different Choices
by Lynn Saunders
Summary: What if there was only one choice, and all the others were wrong, and there were signs along the way to pay attention to? How many lives would we be living if we'd made different choices? - All Things, The X-Files What if Daryl didn't reach the car in time and Carol drove off into the night? Would they meet again? Mature rating is justified in later chapters.


p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Leaving was easy. She slipped out of the church and off into the dank air of the Georgia night, finding the car battery fully charged and turning the key. Giving one last look at the woods, she eased the car out onto the road. Stop looking for him, she thought, he's not going to try to stop you. You don't deserve it. You can't be around other people. She steeled her resolve and drove off into the darkness, tearing north along the highway alone./p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"In the months that followed, she ran and fought, hid in abandoned homes, pilfered personal items from store fronts, and helped others from a distance on occasion, but not a day went by that he didn't occupy her thoughts. Without him, she ate poorly and dropped weight, drove too fast and made risky decisions. And then she was lucky. She found a small cabin dug into the side of a North Georgia mountain, with just enough elevation that the walkers mostly stayed away as long as she was quiet. She trapped rabbits and squirrels, the occasional opossum. She thought about her grandmother's stories of boiling her clothes and hanging them out on the line, imagining Amei looking down on her now. Would she be proud?p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Living without her family was hard, and the loss wore on her. She missed Daryl terribly. Five long years passed in bits and pieces, and when the summer came again she thought about how she had now lived without him longer than she knew him. She realized that he was marked on her, imprinted on her spirit. Existing without him was unbearable, a dull throbbing ache. She now knew that deserting the people she had begun to care about the most was far worse than watching them succumb to this new horrid life. And Daryl? She had left him behind too. Abandoning her family, her last crime against them.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"A mountain stream ran near her adopted home, and Carol made the short trek to collect water each morning, knife at the ready. The morning everything changed, the birds were eerily quiet, mist rising from the water and swirling about the tree trunks. As she stooped to fill her canteen, a single gunshot rang out through the morning chill. A round woman with dark brown hair crashed through the trees, carrying a little girl. Walkers four paces behind reached their rotting fingertips out in their pursuit.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Carol spotted the child and raced to their aid without hesitation, dispatching the walkers efficiently. The child reached for her, and she responded without thinking, taking the little girl into her arms and hugging her close. The other woman limped to a nearby tree stump and sat gingerly, pulling up her pant leg to reveal a large gash.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""That looks bad," Carol observed, concerned.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""I took my niece from her parents. They..." the woman swallows hard, suddenly blinking back tears. "We were trying for the Safe Zone."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""That needs to be bandaged," Carol said, helping the woman to her feet. "Come inside. I can help you."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"The woman's name was Elena. She sat at the small table in the corner while Carol boiled water and let it cool, rinsing the wound as the woman hissed through the pain. The girl, Marie, held her aunt's hand and cried. Carol bandaged the leg and fed the newcomers, giving them her bed. Her guests curled up together and slept soundly while Carol kept watch by the window, silent and still. Listening, she waited.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""I don't see why you can't come with us," Elena said on the seventh day as Carol carefully tended her wounded leg. Elena saw Carol as steadfast and good, quick with a weapon. Stoic. Yet, behind her new friend's eyes occasionally flared an expression of unbelievable pain.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""I was with a group once, and I did something. Now I don't deserve to be."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""Everyone's done something." Elena extended a hand, gently touching Carol's shoulder. "You can start over."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Carol nodded. "I want to."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"They stayed just over 2 weeks, and when the day came to send them on their way, the little girl cried and clung to Carol's neck. "I'm right behind you," she assured the girl.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""Promise?"p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""I promise."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"She stayed two months more, unsure. Then, on a sweltering August evening, she methodically cranked the old radio she found in a guard house at an upscale subdivision. She reclined in her bunk as the radio scanned through the static to the message she was looking for. The familiar words played in a continuous loop, tempting her. She tucked her hands behind her head and considered the recording, attempting to peel apart the lines, to see the maker's intent.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Did she deserve to move on? How much penance was required? She would never see her family again, was that enough? The person who seemed to care most about understanding her was gone forever, lost to her in the wilderness of the undead. She thought about these things as she lay sideways across her small bed, the pillow empty beside her. What, she wondered, would have happened if she had stayed?p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"In the night, Carol bundled in blankets in the cool air of the cabin with the windows shuttered and the door locked up tight. Deep in dreams, she was at the prison, on the concrete pad where two bodies lay charred beyond recognition. Her mind recoiled, and she recognized on some level that this was a dream, a scene played on repeat through the years in her mind's eye. Yet rather than smoldering, this time the bodies were picked up by the wind, scattered to ashes, free. She is reminded of doing this for her own mother, stepping up to the boat rail and lifting the urn's lid, setting free the matter that made up someone so special so that the cycle might begin again. For the first time in years, she slept through the night. She was now ready.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"- - - - -p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Carol stops on the roadside on an impossibly clear autumn day, filling her canteen in a fast-running stream just outside of Belle Haven, VA. She breathes in the crisp fall air, admiring the blazing leaves, allowing herself to relax ever so slightly, the sort of relief that only settles onto travelers on the last leg of a long journey. She returns to her rusted Subaru and checks the back for unwanted passengers before climbing in and firing up the faithful engine. Dilapidated road signs point the way to Alexandria, an accompanying "ASZ" tagged on each lower right corner in white spray paint. The roads have been cleared to ease the travel of incoming refugees. At least, that's what the radio announcement says. She's not sure what to expect.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Over a bridge and around a curve, and she looks away for just a moment, only to be met with the frightened face of a doe weaving out into the road. She slams on the breaks and skids to a halt as the deer staggers in front of her car, lame, a feathered bolt protruding from her haunches. The doe disappears into the shaded forest as Carol breathes a sigh of relief. She shakes it off and is just about to step on the gas when a shadowy pair of figures emerge from the woods, lumbering toward the road. A child, she realizes, shouldering most of the weight of a much larger person. They stumble to the road and collapse in a heap onto the asphalt. The child waves to her frantically for help.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Carol approaches warily, pistol in hand as the child leans over a man, her hands on his chest, tears staining her dusty cheeks. "My Dad, he fell! Please help us!"p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""Is he bitten?" Carol asks, keeping a reasonable distance.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""No, he fell from our tree stand," the girl sobs.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"A low groan from the woods warns that they don't have time for pleasantries. Carol looks from the pair on the ground in front of her to her beloved vehicle and back again. There's no time. "Help me get him in," she says, running to the car. She pulls open the rear door and helps the girl drag her father into the back seat just as a cluster of walkers breaks the tree line. The girl slams the door, and they ride off into the crisp blue afternoon together.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"The girl carefully cradles her father's head in her lap, stroking his hair. "Take us to Camp 4. There's a medical tent."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Carol eyes the girl in her rear view mirror. She is hugging her father, tears falling onto his shaggy beard. "Camp 4?"p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""In the Safe Zone. We have food. You can stay. Just go straight."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""What happened?" Carol asks as they speed north along the highway.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""I shot a doe, but she didn't go down, and I was going after her." The girl sniffs pitifully from the back seat. "He tried to come with me, and the ladder broke."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""What's your name?"p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""Zoe." She wipes at her nose with her shirt sleeve.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;""I'm Carol."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Their eyes meet in the rear view mirror. "Thank you, Ms. Carol."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Zoe guides the way to a gate hidden in the woods off of a dirt road. At first glance, it would seem unprotected, but as they approach Carol becomes aware of the well-camouflaged guards on all sides. An official approaches, weapon at the ready but not raised. "Your vehicle is not registered. Are you seeking shelter here?"p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Zoe's tear-streaked face pops into the front seat. "Dad fell out of the deer stand!"p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"The girl is clearly well-recognized, because the guard waves frantically at the others to open the gate. "Get out, I'll drive them while you check in."p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Carol palms her revolver out of habit. "I'm driving." She speeds through the open gate and to the right, where a team is assembling around a stretcher. They race to the car and throw open the door, pulling the man from the seat. "He's unconscious. Let's get him in now!"p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;"Carol stares, stunned, as they roll him away, his girl chasing after, the familiar angel wings sewn on the back of her leather vest now visible as she runs to the medical tent.p  
>p style="margin-bottom: 0in; line-height: 100%;" p 


End file.
